You and I have come to verse
25 in our study of Ephesians 5. I want to begin, though, again
in verse 22. And I want to begin there and
read down through the 6th chapter and verse 9. Why submit yourselves unto your
own husbands as unto the Lord? For the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is
the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every
fashion. Husbands, love your wives, even
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that
he might sanctify and cleanse it with the worship of water
by the word. that he might present it to himself
a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that it should be holy and without blemish. So art men to
love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife
loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, even as the Lord
the Church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
they shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but
I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let
every one of you, in particular, so love his wife, even as himself,
and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Children, obey your
parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and
mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be
well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. And you
fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, to anger, but bring
them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Servants, be obedient
to them that are your masters according to the flesh. with
fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ. Not with our service as men-pleasers,
but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the
heart, with good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men. Knowing that whatsoever good
thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord,
whether he be bond or free. And you masters do the same things
unto them, forbearing, threatening, knowing that your master also
is in heaven. Neither is there any respect
of persons with him." Now, I wanted to read all of that to you. Our
text is found in verse 25. But I want to read this to you
because I wanted us to see in this passage that true Christianity
involves itself in the whole of our lives. We don't compartmentalize
the Lord Jesus Christ for Christianity. He's involved in every aspect
of our life. You'll notice that as I read
to you there beginning in verse 22. Christianity is involved
in the wife. Wives submit yourselves unto
your husband. Christ is involved in the wife's
relationship with her husband, as well as the husband's relationship
with his wife. We go on down to the children,
obeying their parents, submitting to them, fathers and mothers
teaching and raising their children. It even extends to the workplace. Christianity extends to every
aspect of our life. It involves it all. Christ is
our life and Christ is our living. The life which I now live in
the flesh, every day, when I sleep, when I raise, when I eat, when
I go off to work, all my relationships in my family, with my children,
my wife, my husband, on the workplace, Christianity is involved in all
of it. I would say this, brothers and
sisters, this morning, and without any hesitation, That person who
says that Jesus Christ is shut out of this aspect of my life,
or that Jesus Christ is welcome in every aspect of my life but
this one aspect, that I will determine for myself to what
I believe to be my greatest advantage. When a person, the instant a
person says that, he has a right to doubt his Christianity. Jesus Christ must rule in every
aspect of our life. He must rule as our gracious
head. The wife who is a believer, she
submitted to her husband for Christ's sake. The husband who
has married a wife, he loves her for Christ's sake. The children
who are in the Lord obey their parents for Christ's sake. And
it's the same thing at our workplaces. You here this morning who have
businesses, you deal with your employees out of obedience to
Christ. You make no decisions where you
shut Christ out. You who go to the workforce and
work, you go there with this thought in mind, I'm here not
just to please my employer, but I'm here to please the Lord Jesus
Christ. Christianity is involved in every
aspect of our lives. The Lord Jesus said, if any man
will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross,
how often? Daily. Daily. And follow me. How many people
have been brought to discover that they're not Christians at
all? And they've been brought to that conclusion not because
they've been taught the doctrinal portions of the Scripture they
well have. But that's not when they found
out they're not Christians. They found out they were not
Christians at all when they came here to this practical part of
the Scripture. They had the doctrine well enough,
but they only had it in their head. It never got into their
lives. It never got into their daily
living, which these doctrines must do. Christ must not only
be in our heads, Christ must be in our hearts. Christ not
only must be our life, Christ must be our living. You notice
how Paul, he never leaves the doctrine of Christ and goes to
things that are practical. Husbands, love your wives. even as Christ loved the church
and gave himself for it. One of the most wonderful aspects
of being a Christian is not just that we are saved from guilt
and the wrath to come, but one of the most wonderful and glorious
aspects, we have a King who graciously reigns in our hearts. every day,
ruling over us, subduing us, leading us, chastening us when
we err, and merciful to us when we fall. How glorious this is. Husband, love your wives even
as Christ loved the church. I want to see three things this
morning. I want to see three kinds of love that's involved
in the marriage relationship. Three kinds of love that's involved
and very important in the marriage relationship. And when he says,
your husbands love your wives, of course he's not excluding
the wives loving her husband. That's given in other portions
of Scripture. But we've already dealt with
wives, in principle, submitting themselves to their husbands.
Now he's going to deal with a husband's responsibility to love their
wife. And I want to show you in the
Scriptures this morning three kinds of love. And I have no
Hebrew words to give you. I don't read a word of Hebrew.
I don't read a word of Greek. I'm not going to give you some
Greek words because you'd forget them if I did. But I'm going
to show you from the Scriptures three kinds of love that's involved
in marriage. And I want to take you to the
Scriptures and show you that. First of all, I want you to turn
to Genesis chapter 24. Genesis chapter 24. I want you
to mark these. You're welcome if you have a
Vines concordance. You can check these and read
these, but really they're self-explanatory. Genesis chapter 24 and the verse
is 67. Genesis 24 and the verse is verse
67. You remember the story. Abraham
had sent his servant to get a bride for Isaac. He had found her. Her name was Rebekah. They say
Jewish history tells us she was somewhere around 14 or 16 years
old at this time. That's Jewish history. We don't
know. But he brings Rebekah back and she sees Isaac in verse 67. And Isaac, in verse 66, the servant
told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her
unto his mother's tent. and took Rebecca and she became
his wife and he loved her and Isaac was comforted after his
mother's death. Isaac loved her. Now this word
love here means this, to have affection for, but it doesn't
stop there. It's a general term to describe
love and it reaches as far as fleshly affections and physical
attraction. If you want to know the proper
definition of this particular word, you have to read it in
the light of its context. Now, when you and I look at this
context, it definitely has to do with Isaac being physically
and sexually attracted to his new bride. Did you notice that? He took her into his mother's
tent And he loved her. If you want to read it literally,
read it like this. He took her into his mother's
tent and made love to her. This word has to do with a physical
attraction. I remember a lady and her husband
a few years ago. She and her husband was a friend
of a couple in this church who is still in this church. Many
of us knew this couple. And she had problems with this
physical attraction to her husband. And she had a problem with him
being physically attracted to her. And she made a statement
to our friends one day that, what would I do if my husband and I were having
sex and the Lord came back. And she was repulsed with the
very thought of that. And she denied him this affection,
and it wasn't long after that that they divorced. The problem
that you and I have sometimes, and some people think, that when
the Lord saves a person, He removes this physical attraction. be
sexual desires. But brothers and sisters, far
from God removing it, He sanctifies it. He blesses it. You take a
wife and a man, a woman and a man who marries and does not have
this kind of love, I tell you, I don't know if the marriage
would survive. This is one attraction, not only
that's a must in a marriage, but you know this attraction
has been around before the fall. Look here in Genesis chapter
1. Look in Genesis chapter 1 and verse 27. Look at this. Two scriptures
here in Genesis that I want to show you. Genesis chapter 1 and
then in Genesis chapter 5. We need to be very clear, and
you and I as husbands and wives, we need to understand that this
is a vital part of marriage. Isaac was sexually attracted
to Rebekah, his wife. The first time that Abraham's
servant saw her, here's the statement that he made about her. My, she
is beautiful. My, she's fair to look upon. And when Isaac saw her, he was
physically attracted to her like he had never been attracted to
anybody before. Can you husbands relate to that? Don't you feel this attraction
to your wife like you feel it to no one else? Did you know
that's a gift of God? Even after the fall of man, it's
still a gift of God. Look at what he says in Genesis
chapter 1 and verse 27. And so God created man in his
own image. In the image of God created he
him, male and female created he them, and God blessed them
and said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the
earth, and subdue it. Be fruitful and multiply. In what way? In what way? There had to be this physical
attraction that Eve had to Adam, and Adam had to Eve. And that was the gift of God.
But you know something? It never ceased after the fall.
Look in Genesis chapter 5. This has always been something
amazing to me when I've read this, and I've often liked when
I've read it. Because it's such a joyful thing.
This kind of love is such a joyful love. Knowing it's a gift of
God. Look in Genesis chapter 5 and
look in verse 21. And Enoch, Enoch, this man was
said that he pleased God. Enoch lived sixty and five years
and he begat Methuselah. And Enoch walked with God after
he beget Methuselah three hundred years, and beget sons and daughters."
Now let me ask you a question. You don't have to answer this,
but how does a man beget a son? What's involved in that? Now,
I know I have to be careful. We're in mixed company, and we
have the kids in here. But what's involved in that?
Let's just be plain. Is there not some excitement,
some arousal involved in begetting a child? Is there not sex involved
between this man and this woman? But here's the amazing thing
about this. While this man was sleeping and
having sex and begetting children, he was walking with God. While he was enjoying his wife
in this manner of love, he was in joy in God, and he was said
to be pleasing to God. He had this testimony before
his translation that he pleased God. He pleased his wife, and
he was pleased by his wife, and he was pleasing to God, and he
was pleased with God. Now, isn't that amazing? The
scripture says, marriage is honorable in all, and the bed is undefiled. Now that's wonderful, ain't it?
And where this marriage is, where this love, this kind of love
is lacking in a marriage relationship, I don't know how it could be
a full relationship. There's nothing wrong with this.
It's God, the gift of God. I want you to turn to another
scripture and let me say this about it. I want you to look
to 2 Samuel, chapter 13. 2 Samuel, chapter 13. Here's the thing about this kind
of love. Since the fall, this kind of
love can be perverted. It can be twisted. because it
has to do with attraction mainly from a physical standpoint. And
since man has fallen into sin, since man is now dead in trespasses
and sins, since the Christian is afflicted with sin and a deceitful
heart, yet we all have to be careful with this kind of love.
Now, I want to show you this very same word in 2 Samuel, chapter
13, in verses 1 and 2. The very same word as we saw
where it was said that Isaac loved Rebekah. And it came to
pass, 2 Samuel 13, verse 1, after this that Absalom, the son of
David, had a fair sister whose name was Tamar, and Ammon, The
son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed that he
fell sick for his sister, his half-sister Tamar, for she was
a virgin, and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to
her." Now, you read the story on, and Amnon and his friend,
his first cousin, tricked his sister Tamar in coming down and
cooking for him. And then he rapes his half-sister. He rapes his half-sister. He
was physically attracted to her. This was unlawful at this time,
being his half-sister. And look what it says in the
13th chapter, and look down here in verse 15. After he had raped
his sister, look in verse 15, then Amnon hated her exceedingly,
so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than
the love wherewith he loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise,
and be gone. And she said unto him, There
is no cause. This evil in sending me away
is greater than the evil that thou didst unto me. But he would
not hearken unto her." You see how this love is so deceitful
sometimes. Because this love has to do with
a physical realm, an aspect, it has to be governed. We have to keep our eye on it
because we are in a perverted situation now in our fall. He loved an object in a way that
he should never have loved her. Most of us remember a man by
the name of Stanford. He was the governor of South
Carolina. had a promising career in politics. I was watching a
man the other night interview him, and he was asking him. He had an affair. He had a wife
and two children, a beautiful wife and two beautiful children.
He had an affair with this Argentine woman. And this man asked him,
he said, why would you throw all of that away? Why would you
shame your wife, disappoint your children, and ruin your career?
for another woman. And you know what he said? I
fell in love. I fell in love. That's why we
have to be careful with this kind of love. If you're going
to have a marriage that's full, you must have this kind of love.
But it has to be watched over. It has to be regulated. Because
this love can set itself upon objects that's unlawful. and
bring a lot of trouble and a lot of heartaches into the family.
That's the first kind of love. Remember that. Remember that. And you know, this is why we
tell our children, our young teenagers, and our young people
when they begin to want to date, we know this kind of love exists. This kind of a physical attraction
exists. That's why we don't dare leave
them alone with the girlfriends or the boyfriends. When they
trust themselves, we don't dare leave them alone. It's only when
they come to mistrust and distrust themselves that we begin to trust
them. But this love must be. It must
be. It's wonderful. It's a gift of
God. Husbands, love your wives. Love your wives. There's another
kind of love, and I want you to turn to John, chapter 21,
and how important this is. John, chapter 21. This is an amazing passage, and
if you have a Vines concordance and you would like to study this,
they have some good things to say about this, but here in John,
chapter 21, In verses 15-17, the Lord Jesus had risen from
the dead, and you remember Peter had denied Him three times. The
Lord Jesus said, all of you are going to forsake Me. And Peter
said, Lord, though all of these other disciples forsake You,
I will never forsake You. I love You more than all these
other disciples love You. And whatever they do will not
determine what I do. Now the Lord Jesus is raised
from the dead and he confronts Peter. And look here in verse
15. And so when they had dined, the
Lord fixed them a meal. Jesus said unto Simon Peter,
Simon, son of Jonah, lovest thou me more than these? Simon, do
you love me more than these other apostles? This word here is what
you may have heard this word, some of you have. It's a copy.
It's divine love. It's that unconditional love
of God in Christ. The love that the children of
God have in their hearts. Divine, agape love. Peter, do you love me that way?
Do you love me unconditionally? Do you love me with that unselfish
love? And Peter said unto him, Yea,
Lord, thou knowest that I love you. Now here is a different
kind of love. Here is not a gothy love at all.
Let me give you the definition of this love. It means this in
verse 15, Lovest thou me? And then in the last verse, Thou
knowest that I love thee. This means to be a friend to. To be fond of an individual or
an object. It may be the fond that one man
has toward another man, or a man has towards an object. It's being
fond of. To have affection denoting personal
attachment as a matter of sentiment or feeling. He said, Lord, you
know I'm fond of you. You know I'm tenderly attached
to you. And then the Lord Jesus goes
on in verse 16, and he says unto him the second time, Simon son
of Jonah, do you love me? There's that agape love. Unconditionally? Deeply, do you love me? And Peter says, Lord, you know
that I'm fond of you. You know that I'm tenderly attached
to you. And then in verse 17, the Lord Jesus changes this word,
love. He says it to him the third time,
Simon, son of Jonas, are you indeed tenderly attached to me? Are you really fond of me? And boy, by this time, Peter
was so humbled. He didn't brag anymore, Lord,
I love you more than these other apostles. All he said was, Lord,
you know. I'm not going to say anything
else. You know my heart. You know what I've done in denying
you, but you know I'm fond of you. I am tenderly attached to
you. This is a wonderful word, and
as I looked it up, I found some other places where this very
same word is mentioned. And listen to this. The Lord
Jesus talking about the Pharisees and the scribes. He said they
love, they're fond of, uppermost rooms at feasts and chief seats
in the synagogues, and they love, they're fond of being called
Master, Master, Master. They love that. They're fond
of that. In John chapter 15 verse 19, the Lord Jesus said, if you
were of the world, the world would be fond of you. They would
be tenderly attached to you. But because you're not of the
world, I've called you out of the world. Therefore, the world's
not attached to you. The world's not fond of you.
The world hates you. And another place, and boy, this
is very certain here, if any man Love not the Lord Jesus Christ. If any man is not fond of the
Lord Jesus Christ, if he is not tenderly attached to the Lord
Jesus Christ, let him be accursed when the Lord comes. That is
that same word, love. Husbands, be fond of your wives. Husbands, have this tender attachment
to your wife. Husbands, enjoy her company and
her friendship. Love your wives. And this is
a love that must be cultivated because this is a love that can
diminish as well as increase. Love your wives. There was a young man that came
to ask his fiancé's or his girlfriend's hand in marriage. And he came
to her father. And he said, Sir, I want to marry
your daughter. And he said, young man, do you
like my daughter? He said, Sir, I love your daughter.
He said, that's not what I'm asking you. I'm asking you, do
you like my daughter? That's something different altogether. We should look at that when we
go to choose a wife for ourselves and a wife for the husband. Is
it somebody we like? We have to be tenderly attached
to them. We have to be fond of them. There are men who love their
wives with this first love that we were talking to. But they're
not fond of their wives. And they're miserable. And the
wife is miserable. And so often it leads to divorce. I had a friend of mine, they
were married for 26 years and had 13 children. And when the
last child graduated from high school, they divorced. And I
said, John, why did you and your wife divorce? You have 13 children. He said, we had nothing in common.
It just took us 26 years to find out. What was going on? Sex. Sex. Sex. legalized sex, but
no fondness, no tender attachment one to another. Who would you
husbands rather be with than anybody else in this world? Would
you rather be working? Would you rather be with a co-worker?
Would you rather be drinking off of yourself somewhere? Who
is that one person you are fond of more than anybody else? Is
it your wife? Do you just relish, do you cherish
sitting and talking with her? Is she your delight? Husbands,
love your wives. I would suggest to anybody looking
for a wife, you better find out if you like her. This first love, I tell you,
can wear old and hairy if this second one is not there. Blessed is that husband who has
a wife that he's fond of. Thirdly, and quickly, back over
in our text, this is the third love, and it's this agape love. It's this love divine. Look what
he says in verse 25 of Ephesians 5. Husbands, love your wives. even as Christ also loved the
church. Christ loved. Now, only a Christian,
only a believer, only a child of God fits here. No lost man
can love his wife with the same nature of love as the Lord Jesus
Christ loved his church. This has to be put in the bosom
of the believer. And it's put there at birth.
At their new birth. He that's born of God is born
of love. And he that's born of God loveth. The fruit of the Spirit is love.
The love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost.
And you know what this love here does? It sanctifies those first
two loves. It puts them in the right channels. If you know something about this
love, I've studied this and I've looked in different commentaries
and dictionaries. I cannot find a definition for
this love. I was reading in Vines again,
in one or two of the commentaries, and they made a statement that
really helped me. Because I was concerned about
myself because I could not define the love of God in Christ. And
Vine said, this is a very, very difficult word to define. It can only be known by these
two ways, its attitude and its actions. Its attitude and its
actions. The love of Christ, how can we
know it? by its attitude. Let me quote to you from a commentary,
the Amplified Commentary in 1 Corinthians 13. You've read that in our version. Let me quote it to you how they
write it. And think of the love of Christ.
This is divine love. Love endures long and is patient
and kind. Love is never envious. Love never
boils over with jealousy. Love is not boastful or vainglorious,
does not display itself in a haughty manner. Love is not conceited
or arrogant and inflated with pride. Love is never rude, does
not act unbecomingly. Love, that is, the love of God
in us, does not insist upon its own rights or have in its own
way. Ain't that something like the
Lord Jesus when he was here? He never insisted upon his own
way. He pleased not himself, but he
said the reproaches of them that reproach thee have fallen upon
me. It gives up its rights. Love
is not a touchy thing or fretful or resentful. It takes no account
of the evils done to it. It pays no attention to a suffered
wrong. It does not rejoice at iniquity
or unrighteousness. But love rejoices when the right
and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything
and everything that comes. It is ever ready to believe the
best of every person. Its hopes are fadeless under
all circumstances, and it endures everything without weakening.
Love never fails, it never fades, it never becomes obsolete, and
it never comes to an end. That's the attitude of love. How do you define it? You can't. You only know this kind of love
by its attitude. This is the way Christ loves. And he says, Husbands, love your
wives this way. Love your wives even as Christ
loved the church. Bynes says this about love. Not
only is it only known by its attitude, but it can only be
known by its actions. What is the actions of love?
Husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved the church. and
gave himself for it. There is the love of Christ.
There is the way it is defined. It sacrifices itself. It gives itself. No greater love
has any man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. But listen to this. Herein is
love. Not that we love God. Not that
we love God. But He loved us. His love goes
before our love. Our love is caused by His love. He loved us when we did not love
Him. But listen to this, Father. God
commendeth His love toward us, and that while we were yet sinners,
Christ died for us. That's greater love yet, isn't
it? But let's go one step farther. Listen to this. When we were
yet without strength in due time, Christ died for the ungodly. There is a manifestation of greater
love. I would die for a good man perhaps,
but an ungodly man, that is love. But let's go one step farther.
Listen to this. For if when we were enemies We
were reconciled to God by the death of His Son. Enemies. Christ loved us when
we were His enemies. And He gave Himself because He
loved us when we were His enemies. That's unconditional love, brothers
and sisters. When we were all together, unlovable
and wretched, He loved us. When you see your wife is deficient,
and you see her weaknesses, and you are tempted to criticize
her, remember this, remember this, no wife, no wife has ever
sinned against her husband as much as the church has sinned
against Christ. No wife is deserving of such
Criticizing from her husband, as the church is worthy to be
criticized of Christ. And yet, he loves her. He loves her. Husbands, love
your wives that way. Can we love our wives to the
same degree? Impossible. Impossible. But we can love them with the
same nature of love as Christ loved His church. Husbands, love
your wives as Christ loved the church. God gave us grace to
do it. One thing I found out when I
preach on these things, the Lord shows me that I don't
do it. I tell you to do this, and I
tell you to do that, and then you know the first thing you
have trouble with? You see you can't do it. I can't do it. There's this struggle to do it,
and you see you can't do it. And here's the remedy, brothers
and sisters. Here is the only remedy that
you and I can find. Be not drunk with wine or in
excess, but be you filled with the Spirit. When the Spirit fills
us, when we walk in the Spirit, we don't walk in our own strength
anymore. We walk in the strength of the
Lord Jesus Christ. My strength is made perfect in
your weakness. When you see that you cannot
do it, it's when you see me working in you to do it. And that's the
glorious thing about the Christian life. It's Christ living it in
us and through us. Now, people would take heed to
this. This may be weak in its delivery, and somebody else has
said much more important things about it than I could. But I'll
tell you this, if everybody would listen and take heart this morning
to just what I've said, they'd have to shut the divorce courses
down. There'd be no need for any more marriage counselors.
And husbands and wives would walk through this world happy
and joyful and heirs together of the grace of life. May God
grant each one of us here this morning to be in that condition.
Let's pray.