The book of Titus chapter 2 is
where we've come to in our study of this book. And I want us to
begin reading here in verse 2. And read down through verse 10. Titus chapter 2. Let's just begin
in verse 1. Speak thou the things which become
sound doctrine, that the aged men be sober, grave, reverent,
temperate, self-controlled, sound in the faith, in love, charity,
and patience. The aged women likewise that
they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers,
not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things,
that they may teach the young women, admonish and instruct
the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love
their children, to be discreet, self-controlled, chaste, modest,
keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the
Word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to
be sober-minded, self-controlled, temperate, in all things showing
thyself a pattern of good works, in doctrine showing uncorruptedness,
gravity, sincerity, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that
he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil
thing to say of you. Exhort servants to be obedient
to their own masters and to please them well in all things, not
answering again, not prolonging, pilfering, stealing, but showing
all good fidelity that they may adorn the doctrine of God our
Savior in all things. We want to look mainly tonight
at verses 4 and verse 5. But let's begin by saying this,
that as we look at this, we've got to remember this, and look
at it this way, that all men are responsible to God. When
we say all men, lost men, are responsible to God, to hear His
Word, and to obey Him, and to believe Him, and trust Him, and
love Him, and worship Him, and serve Him. We as believers are
doubly responsible because we've obtained mercy. We've obtained
grace in His sight. He's called us. He's called us
out of the darkness of sin, out of the darkness of ignorance,
rebellion, deception, and He's called us into the marvelous
light of His Son. He's called us into the fellowship
of His Son, to be partakers with Christ of His glory that He's
earned. And this not only makes us responsible
to God, but it makes us responsible one to another. We're in the
same family. We have the same elder brother.
We have the same father, the same spirit that abides within
us. That makes us responsible one to another, to be a light
one to another, to be an example one to another, to be a help
one to another. The Lord asked Cain this question. He said, Cain, where is your
brother? Remember the Lord asking him that after Cain had killed
his brother. And he said, Cain, where is your
brother? Well, the Lord knew where he was, but He wanted to
hear it from him, didn't He? Where is your brother? And Cain
said, why are you asking me that? Am I my brother's keeper? Am
I my brother's keeper? Am I supposed to guard and watch
over and help my brother? Am I my brother's keeper? And
you know the Lord Jesus went a long way in answering that
in the New Testament. There was a lawyer that came
to him one time and tempted the Lord, trying to catch him in
his words, and said, Lord, what do I have to do to inherit eternal
life? And the Lord said, what does
Moses in the Law say? And the lawyer said, well, he
said, you must love the Lord your God with all your heart,
all your mind, all your soul, and all your strength, and your
neighbor as yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself.
And the Lord said, you go do that and you'll live. You go
do that and you will live. And the man said, Who is my neighbor? Men try to change things and
make excuses. Who is my neighbor? And the Lord
Jesus gave him that very familiar parable that all of us have read
and all of us have heard. The Lord told him the parable
of the Samaritan. Remember that? There was a man
that went down from Jerusalem to Jericho and he got caught
among thieves and they stripped him and beat him and left him
half dead. And a priest went down and saw
him and he passed by on the other side. And a Levite went down
and he saw him and he passed by on the other side. And then
this Samaritan, This foreigner, this Samaritan, he went by and
he saw the man laying there stripped of his clothes and bruised and
beaten, and he poured oil into his wounds and put him on his
little donkey and took him to the inn and paid his bill and
said, I'm going to come back in a few days. If he owes any
more, I'll pay that. And the Lord asked that lawyer,
He said, now which one of them was a neighbor to that man? Which
one was the neighbor? And he said, well, I suppose
that Samaritan. The one that showed him mercy.
And he said, you go do likewise. You go do likewise. We are responsible,
one to another, as children of God, aren't we? To love one another. To love one another. Here in
chapter 3 of this book, in verse 3, The Apostle Paul was this
Pharisee who professed to keep the Law, but you notice here
how he identifies himself as being sometimes foolish, disobedient,
deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice,
and he said, hateful, and hating one another. That was his attitude. Now, that Levite and that priest,
they knew what the Law said. They knew the law said you shall
love your neighbor as yourself. But you know their whole problem?
They didn't have the grace of love in their hearts. That was
their whole problem. It's not just knowing what the
law says. It's having the grace in your
heart to love. And the Apostle Paul said, though
I was a Pharisee and thought I kept the law so strict, he
said, I didn't love anybody. My heart was full of hate and
I was so hateful. And he said, I forgot where he
said this, maybe it's in Galatians chapter 5, but he said, Christ
has called us to liberty. He's called us to freedom from
the curse of the law. But don't use your liberty to
serve the flesh. But by love, serve one another. For love is the fulfillment of
the law. The whole law is contained in
this one word. Love your neighbor as yourself. And as we look at this passage
today here, this is what we're talking about, love. This is
the motive here behind all the instructions Paul has given to
these different age groups. We looked, the first study in
this chapter, at the aged men. Then last week we looked at the
aged women. And this, for a few minutes tonight,
we'll look at the young women, the mothers. And then He goes
to the young men and then the servants. But the motive behind
these instructions of what they should be is love. It's love. You know, sometimes
we get it in our heads that the Word of God and the instructions
that it gives us is just a burden. These things are to bind us.
They just bind us and almost make our life miserable. We get
that in our heads sometimes. And some people don't even act
like they want to read the Bible because they're afraid they'll
find out something God requires them to do. But these instructions
are always from the motive of love. Love for God. Love for Christ who called us.
And love for our fellow brothers and sisters. We could think of
this epistle and all epistles as the Lord's love letters to
His family, couldn't we? They're not meant to be burdensome
to us. They're not meant to be grievous to us or to make us
feel bad. I would go as far as to say this. These instructions are given
to us to make our lives better and to make our lives easier.
These instructions are given to these different age groups
to make their lives better and easier. And let me say it like
this, what's the alternative to live contrary to these instructions? What's the alternative here to
verse 2 when we think of these old men, these old saints, what's
the alternative to live sober-minded? What's the alternative of that?
Well, it's to be drunk, isn't it, on the things of this world?
And what's the alternative there to be reverent? It's to be irreverent. What's the alternative to be
sound in the faith and love and patience? Well, it's to be unsound,
isn't it? And if we go on here to verses
4 and 5, I read to you about these young women being sober-minded
and wise and temperance. and disciplined and good-natured
as wives to love their husbands and to guard their homes for
the good of their family and the glory of God? What's the
alternative to being that way? We see it all around us, don't
we? We see it all around us what
it's like for a wife not to be responsible for the wife to stop
loving her husband, stop loving her children, and just go off
on her own. Don't we see that all the time? This is the alternative. And it's not good, is it? It's
not good. And to say nothing here of verse
5, for the young men to be under self-control. So why does the
Lord give these instructions to us? Well, He does it to make
our lives better. We were living sorry lives until
he called us. Were we not? Brother Donnie Bell
used to say, if there wasn't a heaven, the Lord's way is the
best way. It's the best way for ourselves.
It's the best way for society. And it's the easiest way. It's
the easiest way. There's temptations, there's
hardships, and I know we've still got this old nature in the flesh,
but you know the Lord's way is the easiest way. The way of a
transgressor is rough, is it not? So the Lord gives us these
instructions, and I want us to think about these instructions
as being motivated in us to do them and be this way beloved.
And let me say this, and this is very important when we think
of these aged women teaching the younger women to love their
husbands and to love their children. Let me say this. There's very
few aged women as far as I know. And when I say aged women, we
probably say grandmothers. Some of you tried to drag me
in to hook me last week by asking me who you're calling aged women. So let's just say somewhere around
the grandmother age. But there are. aged Christian
women, at least they profess to be Christians, that are not
capable of teaching young women a scriptural attitude towards
their husband. I'm sorry to say, but there's
probably not many at all that can teach a young woman what
Paul tells them to teach these young married women here, because
the aged women do not have a behavior themselves that becometh godliness. They're not grown up in the grace
of God themselves. They're not mature Christians
themselves. They're not going to give scriptural
advice to these young women. They give advice based upon raw
emotion. Haven't we seen that? They say
something like this if their daughter gets in trouble. Sweetheart,
listen. Is your husband being hateful?
Is he giving you a lot of trouble? Come on home to mommy, honey.
Ain't that what they do? Are you having a rough life?
Is it difficult? Then just get out of it. Get
out of it and be happy. I've heard aged men and women
give young women and young men that advice. Maybe it just wasn't
the Lord's will for you two to marry, to start with. Just get
out of it. Isn't that awful? That's awful,
isn't it? Aged women would encourage a
separation simply because the marriage has some difficult trials
in it. And there's professing Christians
who are divorcing, and the only grounds is this, that they can't
get along one with another. They can't get along one with
another. And there are professing aged
Christians who justify their separation and a divorce on those
grounds. Well, they just can't get along.
When the question should be like this, what happens? Why can't
you get along? You seemed to love one another
while you were dating. You seemed to love one another
when you were having the two children. What happened? There should be some investigation.
And it shouldn't begin with, well, just throw up your hands
because it got tough. It probably wasn't meant to be.
There should be some wisdom in aged women. They've experienced,
they went through this. So they should have sound scriptural
advice for young women who have husbands and have children. And
that advice should not be on emotion and justifying separation
and divorce just because Difficulties come into the marriage. If I
asked you to raise your hand if you'd had difficulty in your
marriage, would you raise your hand? Ain't nobody here that's
been married over five minutes would say, yeah, it's got a little
tougher than I thought it was going to be. Got a little tougher.
Now, don't judge me too harshly and too quickly when I say this,
but a happy marriage and a happy home life is dependent very much
upon the attitude of the wife. Very much upon the attitude of
the wife. And Paul didn't mention the men
here. He mentions him in other places. Husbands love your wife. But we're studying about the
wife tonight, aren't we? But I think there's a good reason
why he left the husband out here and didn't mention it at all.
You can have a good husband who is faithful to his wife, he loves
his children, Yet if the wife doesn't have a scriptural attitude,
the home is an unhappy place. And you can't make it a good
place. You take a woman that's mouthy,
you take a wife that's argumentative and she's hateful, and I'm telling
you, I don't care how good the husband is, you've got trouble
in that family. The wise men said this in two
different places. He says it's better, Greg you
can quote this, he's shaking his head and smiling, he loves
this. He said it's better for a man, for a husband, to dwell
in the corner of the housetop. Now back then they built those
flat houses and they'd go up there, you know, in the cool
of the evening and eat and relax. And he said it's better to move
up there in one of those little corners and live up there than
with a brawling woman in a white house. A talkative, hateful,
mean, unsubdued woman. God have mercy upon the man,
the husband, who has to live with a woman who lost all sense
of meekness and quietness in her spirit. But having said that,
listen to this. You can take a husband that is
not all that good a husband. Really, he is not a good husband
at all. and he's not a good dad at all. And you can take a wife
that is a safe person, that has obtained mercy with the Lord,
and she's got this gracious, tender, meek, and lowly attitude,
and by demonstrating that attitude in the home, she can keep things
relatively stable and happy in spite of the husband and in spite
of the dad. Now isn't that so? I've noticed
that. I think when it comes to keeping
stability in the home and the happiness in the home, I think
sometimes, ladies, it's more dependent upon you than it is
the man. I want you to look with me over
here at the passage of Scripture. Hold Titus chapter 2 there just
for a second. We'll come back there. But look
over in 1 Peter chapter 3. We looked at this last week,
but we didn't look at these two verses. I want you to look at
what Peter says here He compliments these ladies that have this attitude
that they should have. And look at the benefit that
he says that's in such a gracious and meek attitude. Look in 1
Peter 3. Likewise you wives, be in subjection
to your own husbands. In subjection. Submit to them.
Love them. Reverence them. that if any obey
not the word," he's not a believer, he's not saved, "...they also
may without the word be won by the conversation, the conduct
of the wife, while they behold your conversation, your conduct,
coupled with reverence." Now here you have this believing
woman, and she's married to an unbelieving man, and he's a rascal. He's a rascal. He's just not
very good to her at all. And he watches her and he listens
to her over a period of time. And by watching her, his prejudice
against the Lord is removed. His prejudice against Christianity
is removed, whatever it was. He's won by watching her, her
meek and lowly and submissive and gracious conduct. There was
a man that told me a story one time. I think it was true at
the time. I had no reason to doubt it wasn't true. He told
it for the truth and I think it was. But he told me about
this man who was very mean to his wife. And he used to drink
a lot and come in with his buddies and bring three or four of them
home with him late at night or early in the morning. And he
would get his wife out of bed to cook a meal for her. And this
woman, he said, was so meek and lowly and kind to her husband
and loving that she'd get out of bed and fix them a meal so
cheerful that he'd embarrass those men so much that they quit
coming over there with him getting her out of bed. And her husband
was so humble and impressed with the attitude, the loving, submissive
attitude that she had, that the Lord began to deal with him and
break his heart. And that's what Peter's talking
about here. He's talking about this meek and lowly attitude
that she submits to her husband. She loves her husband. You say,
Bruce, that's asking too much of a wife to be this way. Even if the Lord asks it? Is
that too much if He asks it? It may be too much if I ask it
or demand it, but is it too much if He demands it? Is it too much
if you look at the potential eternal good that such an attitude
may bring? And when you look at it in this
light, when you think that where He commands and what He commands
a wife to do and be, He gives grace to do that and to be that. The Lord never gives a command
to His children. to do their duties, but what
He gives them grace to obey and a measure of joy due to their
obedience. If He commands a wife to be respectful
to her husband and submissive and love him, even though he's
a lost man, do you think He would not give grace for her to do
that? Well, sure He would. I think being a good wife usually
takes more grace than being a good husband because of the nature
of their felt responsibilities. And let me say it this way. Who
feels more responsible to the children? Usually, by nature,
who feels more responsible to the children? The one who bore
them. The one who carried them in her
womb. She feels responsible for them.
She's their mother. The wife is usually more domesticated
by nature than the husband, isn't she? She's a natural keeper at
home. And what else she does, and what
else she may be, if she's a Christian wife, she considers her husband
to be her head. And she desires to submit to
him in that. So she feels this responsibility. A Christian woman feels this
responsibility. By nature and by grace, she feels
it. She knows that the husband is
her head, just as Christ is the head of man, and just as God
is the head of Christ. So she feels this responsibility. She's more domesticated. You
look back over the thousands of years now of humanity. and
see, look in the homes and see by nature, who's more domesticated,
the wife or the husband? It's the wife, isn't it? And
I think it's because she feels that. She feels that. And because
she feels that, why, she needs grace. She needs grace to live
up to what she feels, her responsibility. And listen to this, being such
a wife and mother would be almost unbearable if she felt that she
was forced into it. It would be almost unbearable
if she felt like, I have been forced into this, and I hate
being in this position. I know it's required of me, I
know it's my duty, but I hate being in this. That would be
unbearable. There was a man and woman who called me one time,
and I'm not going to tell you who it is because you know them. And they
called me to their house and they just got married. And she
was actually losing her hair. And she said, I've made a bad
mistake, I've got into this, I can't stand it, I want out
of it. And she was so nervous and upset, she was ready to have
a nervous breakdown because she felt like she was trapped in
that marriage. That would be awful, wouldn't
it? Because she's not there in love. Her motive for being there
towards her husband and her children is not from a motive of love.
That's why Paul told these older ladies here to teach. Teach these
young women. Admonish them and encourage this
woman to think rightly about her position. She needs to understand
that what she's going to be and do must be motivated from love. Love. If it's not love, I tell
you, it will be a burden, won't it? It will be a burden. Then
my wife has had her own problems, and I can't imagine living with
that woman if I didn't love her. Well, I have lost my hair. I
started to say I'd be losing my hair too, but it's not because
of my wife. It's not because of my wife. Look back over and
let me show you that in Titus. Look back over in Titus chapter
2 and look in verse 4. Look in verse 4. That they teach the young women
to be sober, sober-minded, to love their husbands, to love
their children, to love their husbands. You know this is the
only place this word love is used in this sense. It's the
only place in the New Testament this word, love their husbands,
is used. It means to be fond of and affectionate
to. Fond of and affectionate to. It's not used in any place else
in the whole entire New Testament, this one place. It has to do
with the wife being fond of and affectionate to her husband. Now that wouldn't be difficult
for you ladies to do if we husbands were what we should be. We're
told to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Love your wives
and don't be bitter against them. Don't jump at them and snap at
them every little mistake they make. And if we'd have read on
there in Peter it says, honor your wife as the weaker vessel.
It wouldn't be difficult for the wife to be fond of her husband
if he is the best husband in the world and loved her as he
ought to. But here's the thing. It's not
talking about the husband. It's not talking about how good
a husband he is. It's not talking about how much he loves you.
It's talking about you being fond of him and affectionate
to him. And this is the thing. There
is sufficient grace in the heart of the Lord Jesus Christ. that
can give that wife that fond and affectionate love towards
her husband, and to revive that love when and if it grows cold. That's the thing. When the Lord
says, Be this way toward your husband, there's grace in the
heart of Jesus Christ to make you that way, and to give you
grace for that. Fanny Cosby wrote a song. We
sang it sometime, Rescue the Persians. There was a time when
I didn't hardly agree with what she said, but I looked at it
closer and I think she's right. Here's part of one of those verses.
Down in the human heart, crushed by the tempter, feelings lie
buried, feelings lie buried, that grace can restore. And here's what grace does. It
comes to a woman's heart. And it revives those natural
feelings that have been dampened or maybe lost because of sin. Because iniquity abounds, the
love of many will wax cold. When grace comes to the heart,
it revives those natural affections. But here's something else it
does. It gives new affections. It gives divine affections. And when those affections grow
cold, if they do, it revives them in the heart. So when He
gives these instructions here for the wife to love her husband,
He's not saying, I'm going to bind you with this awful burden.
He says, you do it, and while you're doing it, I'm going to
give you grace to do it. It revives the affections and
restores the lost affections in the heart. And this word love
here in verse 4 concerning the children, to love their children,
this is another word for love and this is the only place that
it's found in the New Testament. And it means to be fond of one's
children, maternal. Maternal. It's just a special
love that a mother has for her children. And the Lord said,
Will a mother forsake her suckling child? That's not natural, is
it? Because of this maternal instinct, a mother won't forsake
her suckling child. For a mother to raise her children,
whatever else is involved, she should raise them in love. Love. Boy, love takes the edge
off of duty, doesn't it? Takes the edge off of it being
burdensome and grievous. That's why a mother weeps. That's
why a Christian mother's heart is broken when one of her children
goes astray, when they get in trouble, because she loves them.
Out of love she has sought the best for them. Spurgeon was telling
about this man and his wife in London. They were drunks. They were both
alcoholics. And they had several children
that just ran loose, hungry, naked. They were in London. And
one day this woman was rummaging around through some trash looking
for some drink, some whiskey or something to drink, to satisfy
her cravings she had. And she saw this little mother
bird was rummaging through the trash and she found this little
piece of bread. And she flew off and she saw
her fly in the nest and put it in her little baby's mouth. And
her heart was broken. She just broke down on the spot.
And she says, there's what I want to be! And look at me! I don't even love my children. I don't even love them as much
as that bird loves hers. And her heart, Spurgeon said,
was so broken she went home and apologized to her family and
got them together and began to seek the Lord. And found the
Lord. She found the Lord. Love, isn't
it? It's love. That's the motive.
That's the motive. Happiness in the marriage is
based on love. Boy, mutual love. That's the
best, isn't it? Husbands love your wives, and
wives see that you reverence your husband. Husbands loving
your wives and never being bitter against them, and wives loving
their husbands, as we just read here. Mutual love. And if this
mutual love departs or isn't there, true happiness departs. No amount of wealth. And boy,
we've seen people, haven't we seen young married people, especially
with two or three kids, they try to replace the love that's
not there anymore with things and pleasures and politeness. But nothing can be substituted
for love. If love departs from the heart,
of the man and the wife, then the happiness is gone. Nothing
will substitute for affection. Some of the happiest couples
we've ever seen in our life are poor. They're afflicted. But their happiness doesn't depend
upon what they have or what they hope to have in this world. Their
happiness depends upon this. The husband loves his wife as
Christ loved the church. And the wife has a proper attitude
towards her husband. She's fond of him. She loves
him. And that's a happy couple, isn't
it? Now, Samantha, before you go get a husband, you pray about
him. And when you get one, you can love him like this. The Lord
will give you grace to love him like that. And I hope you find
one that loves you like Christ loved the church. And then you
can have a happy marriage. Happy marriage. And you know
what this does? And we've noticed this. This
is not only good for believers. This is the way the Lord would
have His aged men and aged women and young men and wives with
husbands and children. This is what He would have them
to be. And it's the best life and the
easiest life and the happiest life. But I tell you what it
does. It spreads in society. Every time you look back in history
at revivals in the church, and the church is revived and the
Lord is added to the church, and believers live like believers,
that whole attitude just spreads off on lost people. I remember
the time when I was young, very young. They thought it was a
horrible thing if you divorced. Even lost people thought it was
a horrible thing if you divorced. It's just not the thing to do.
And you know where they learned that? One place they learned
that, by watching Christians. Watching Christians. Lord bless you. Bless His message.
Wayne, would you dismiss us?